Writing an Introduction and Concluding Paragraph
By referring to your outlines, write an introduction and a concluding paragraph that would represent the topic of your essay. Happy writing! Remember to include your group number yea.
posted by scorpioneo at 1:03 PM
24 Comments:
THE ADVANTAGES OF BEING THE ELDEST CHILD IN THE FAMILY
Introduction: Most of the eldest child in a family dislikes be the eldest child. This is because they think that the parents are partiality to their younger sisters and brothers. Actually, they are many advantages for a child being the eldest child in a family. The advantages of being the eldest child in a family are the child is more independent, will get all those new things and also more freedom.
Conclusion: Beside of those advantages, being the eldest child in a family has also many other advantages. So, please stop thinking that being the parent are partiality to their younger sisters and brothers.
1:35 PM
Introduction:
What is online education? Online education.also known as distance learning o e-learning, is a “classroom without walls”. It is different from traditional education because student are not require to visit an actual classroom and listen to the instructor face-to-face. It has provides many advantages include timeliness, flexibility and the various degree program those schools offer.
Conclusion:
If din’t have online education in the market, there would be lesser of the high education worker. Without them, industry hardly to make improvement and that will effect the economic in the world.
1:44 PM
The Drawbacks of Cigarette Smoking
Introduction
What are the drawbacks of cigarette smoking ? Now a day, many college and university students indulge in cigarettes smoking. They say that smoking can help in reducing their stress and relaxing but they never think about the side effects of cigarettes smoking. In contrast, cigarettes smoking actually bring a lot of disadvantages than advantages. For examples, cigarette smoking is money- wasting and have bad influences on health. Besides that, cigarette smoking is also the contributing factor to air pollution.
Conclusion
If college and university students still addicted in cigarette smoking, they won’t gain any benefits. In fact, they lost their money, the most important wealth which is health and they even contribute to environment pollution. To reduce their pressure, there’re plenty of methods can be use instead of cigarette smoking. Therefore, students must be smart to avoid being indulge in cigarette smoking.
1:46 PM
Junior,
There are a lot of benefits of having a roommate. Roommate means a person who shares a room with us and that doesn’t mean him or her only live with us in one room; he or she can be a major part of your life. This is because roommate will stay with you the whole trimester or even the whole year. They can influence us in our life while we are with them.
From your introduction paragraph above, you thesis statement is unclear. YOu thesis statement will have to show clearly the benefits of having a roomamte. Do think about rewriting it in a clearer manner, less vague and more specific.
1:48 PM
sorry, i'm from pm11.
1:48 PM
Title: How to encourage a reading habit among students?
Introduction:
As we all know, reading is a kind of hobby. For those students who prefer reading will known as a good student in school.
It is a general or majority opinion for the teachers and also the parents. There are many ways to encourage a reading habit among the students.
Conclusion:
The ways that we encourage the students to read are useful. However, it depends on their personal attitude, if they follow the ways without changing their personal attitude,
it will be the short term habit for them.
1:49 PM
The Medical Technology and Bioethics
INTRODUCTION:
Everyday, when we opened the newspaper, turn on the television, or get into the Internet, it seems there is a new medical breakthrough. Many of these medical discoveries are beneficial, but they are coming so fast that we often do not have the chance to consider the moral question and ethical problems.
CONCLUSION:
Today, there seem to be no end to expensive tests and treatments to prevent death. So, we much take good care of our health and eat more nutritious food which is rich in vitamins and proteins to prevent the illness as states as the prevention is better than cure.
1:49 PM
nicPM11, I have done some changes to your introduction paragraph. Have a look below:
Introduction: Generally, people dislike being the eldest in the family due to a general assumption that the younger siblings gets more attention and love from parents compared to the eldest. However, there are many advantages for being the eldest in the family. You are more mature, have more freedom and have more opportunity in using new things compared to younger siblings.
1:52 PM
oreo, you have done a good job in your introduction paragraph. Hope the others can learn from it. However, i have done some changes to the original version.
Introduction: Reading habit among students in Malaysia have not successfully achieved the rates that the Education Ministry has targeted. In Japan, the rates of reading among japanese students are admirable and should be amulated. Reading habit among students will increase with the successful implementation of the following three steps; well-equiped libraries with books to cater to the different proficiency levels of students, constant encouragement from teachers to motivate students to read and parents should encourage reading by purchasing quality reading materials for their children to read.
2:00 PM
THE PEOPLE’ ATTITUDES THAT I DISLIKE THE MOST
Introduction
Among all my friends in my secondary school, Andy is the worst person I never meet. He always absence for the group assignment meeting, when there is a group assignment. Not only that, he didn’t do all the works that he need to done it on time, and makes us need to do it for him. ‘Money’ is the words that he always uses for the topic of conversation. The negative attitudes that Andy have are the attitudes that I dislike the most which are self centered, irresponsible and overly money-minded.
Conclusion
If people stop behaves self-centered, irresponsible and money minded, they may have more friends. The money minded person is the worst. They always think that money is everything for them. But actually, money can’t buy a true and honest friendship or a relationship. Therefore, the bad behavior will damage our personality and our name. Finally, Andy has change from all the bad behavior to good attitudes when I meet him last week.
Is my intro n conclusion like primary student essays….
2:02 PM
title: THE BENEFITSOF HAVING A ROOMATE
introduction:-
Started study at MMU Malacca is the best experience in my life. This is how my journey begin. Because this is the first time I am away with my family, I found it is really difficult to adapt a new environment. Telling the truth, during the registration day I was so anxious who is going to be my roommate. Is it a nice girl? Is she haughty? Is she is fashionable girl which is totally opposite with me? Will she laugh at me? Is she talkative? All these questions keep spinning in my head. I was scared that having a roommate will be an interruption for my privacy, and all my action will be limited. And suddenly all my thoughts disappeared after I met Hana. After living with her a couple of month, I started to realize that roommate isn’t really bad. Actually there are many benefits of having a roommate. Sometimes we didn’t realize that roommate is just like our backbone. They willing to get through ups and down with us, always give us moral support and always be there for us every time we needed someone badly.
Conclusion:-
As we were living far from a family, the person we depend most of the times is friends. Roommate is the best person that we can rely on as we live with them for almost everyday. No one knew us better than them. So we should erased our mentality that roommate is the person that might ruin our life and thought that they just a strangers that we will living with. Now Hana is not just my roommate but she is also my best friends. We get through so many things and share our ups and down together. She is like my image consultant, my supporter n as anything I needed her to be.
pm11
5:36 PM
Title: The benefits of having a roommate.
Introduction:
Roommate is the person who stays in the same house and sharing the same room with us when we are staying away from home. This person may be the person you saw the most in your daily life and having your daily meal together. He or she may influence your life and may be staying with you for a few year. There are a lot of benefits of having a roommate. Having a roommate you will not get bored easily, can share experience and your knowledge and having someone to care about you.
Conclusion:
There are a lot of advantages of having a roommate. As a conclusion, there are less negative roommate will affects to our daily life and it will be more joyful and colour up your life. Roommate can also advice us and help us to solve our problem.
10:22 PM
Dear nicpm11
Most of the eldest child in a family dislikes be the eldest child. This is because they think that the parents are partiality to their younger sisters and brothers. Actually, they are many advantages for a child being the eldest child in a family. The advantages of being the eldest child in a family are the child is more independent, will get all those new things and also more freedom.
Using the word "partiality" is a good choice. However, you would want to rephrase that sentence to:
'This is because they think that parents practice partiality towards the younger siblings.'
9:41 AM
Dear Oreo,
I like your ideas on what can be done to encourage the reading habit among students. However, think it would be better to rephrase you thesis statement to make it more concise and straightforward. What we can do is:
Lets have a thesis statement that sounds like this:
'To inculcate the reading habit among students, libraries must be well organised and stocked with a wide variety of books, teachers should constantly play a role to encourage and inculcate the reading habit among students and not forgetting the role of parents in motivating their child to read by purchasing good reading materials to interest their child to read more.'
Reading habit among students in Malaysia has not successfully achieved the rates that the Education Ministry targeted. In Japan, the rates of reading among the Japan’s students are quite well and it should be the role models to some other countries. Reading habit among students will increase if the three steps have successfully taken out, that the library should equip variety and suitable books for different level of students, teachers should encourage and coax them with some advantages if they study a lot of books, parents should buy books for them if they call up and book exhibitions in schools also tend to enhance the students’ reading habit.
9:44 AM
aisnleypm11
First of all, i like the method you have used to write your introduction paragraph. However, there is no such word as 'timeliness'. Also, you might want to explain further what "classroom without walls" mean. It's important to tell you readers what that phrase mean as they wouldn't understand what you are trying to refer to. In writing, no assumption can be made. Everything has to be crystal clear.
I have rephrase certain parts of your conclusion. Please refer below:
What is online education? Online education, also known as distance learning or e-learning, is a “classroom without walls”, in which, students are not expected to attend classes in a physical classroom, per say. It is different from traditional education because student are not require to visit an actual classroom and listen to the instructor face-to-face. It has many advantages such as time flexibility, accessibility and unlimitness of communication with students all over the world.
9:53 AM
The advantages of being the eldest child in the family
Introduction
The eldest child in a family carries the most important responsibility and plays an important role in the family. As we know, every eldest child in a family needs to take care of all the family members. Sometimes, certain eldest child will feel like their parents will concentrate on their brothers and sisters more than him or her, but every eldest child can gains a lot of experiences such as taking care of their family members and so on. Besides that, they will become more independent if compare to other children in the family.
Conclusion
To put it in a nutshell, there are a lot of advantages of being the eldest child in the family. So we should appreciate if we if we are the eldest child in the family. On top of that, we are able to adapt and face the situation more bravely in the future if compare to others and the most important thing is we should be the best example to show to our brothers and sisters.
10:00 AM
Title:How to encourage a reading habit among students
Introduction:
Why reading is important to students?does reading give any
knowledge to student?Reading books or a newspapers is
really important to students because it give a lots of knowledge
to student especially for their academic year in school or
university.Parents and teachers play the most important role
in giving an advise especially encourage them to read.Some
people love read and make it as a hobby.Most people(student
especially) don’t like to read books neither newspapers.This
is common in Malaysia.
Conclusion:
As we can see country like Japan and United States especially,
Most of their citizens read a lot and take as a habit.In Malaysia,
Reading is just a normal things to do and not consider reading is one of the most important things to do in our life especially
for students.Our government should make a campaign about reading
and a lot of activities such as book fair,commercials(inside televison or radio),seminar for students and lot more so that students will read more books
for good.
4:41 PM
im from PM13....
4:42 PM
ainsley
If din’t have online education in the market, there would be lesser of the high education worker. Without them, industry hardly to make improvement and that will effect the economic in the world.
Looking at your conclusion paragraph, you can elaborate more on the advantages of online education and how it affects the current education system in our country. Give more thought into it and you'll be able to write a much better conclusion.
12:48 PM
rainbow,
What are the drawbacks of cigarette smoking ? Now a day, many college and university students indulge in cigarettes smoking. They say that smoking can help in reducing their stress and relaxing but they never think about the side effects of cigarettes smoking. In contrast, cigarettes smoking actually bring a lot of disadvantages than advantages. For examples, cigarette smoking is money- wasting and have bad influences on health. Besides that, cigarette smoking is also the contributing factor to air pollution.
I like the way you write your introduction. YOu have used the method of "general statement" to introduce the essay topic. However, you will have to make your thesis statement a little clearer by staying the disadvantages of smoking. You will have to give 3 disadvantages of smoking. Air pollution is not a very suitable point to be used to describe the disadvantage of smoking.
12:53 PM
shazana,
Being the eldest child in the family is something to be proud off. Eventually after a marriage, every couple will wait to have their first child. When the first child is born, fully attention and love will be given because that is what every parent dream off. The elder child is the one who lighten up their parents live, in other words they are the one who full their parents day and night. When ever they ask anything from the parents, they will get it. Not like their younger brother/sister, they are most probably had to use the things that had been used by their elder sister/brother. The advantages being the eldest child in the family is they will get fully attention at the beginning, their younger siblings will follow their attitude and more responsible to handle.
Remember the lecture on how to write introductions on page 114? Do refer to that page again to refresh your memory to give you some ideas on how to write your introduction. What you have written above can be used as a content paragraph and not as an introduction paragraph. However, stating the advantage of being the eldest as always getting the most attention from young is not very suitable as the topic of the essay is not focusing on how the eldest is being brought up from birth but more towards the fact that you are going to talk about what are the advantages of being the eldest in the family as in having younger siblings under you. Hope my explanation is clear enough for you to rewrite a better introduction.
12:58 PM
Title: the drawbacks of smoking
Introduction:
Is smoking is a good thing? Why the number of smoker keep arise even smoking is bad? . Every year government launch anti smoke, but the number of smoker still arise. as we know cigarette contain many danger substance, it will damage our health and quality of life .
Concluding:
If people continue with smoke ,the average life in people in earth will decrease .and the people will suffer with lot of sickness .in the next 25 year people would expense half of their income in medical if they keep smoking
pm12
1:00 PM
mandyals
As we all know, reading is a kind of hobby. For those students who prefer reading will known as a good student in school.
It is a general or majority opinion for the teachers and also the parents. There are many ways to encourage a reading habit among the students.
What can you include to make your introduction more interesting to read? What can you add to make your introduction longer? Make sure also that your thesis statement is clear and states what your essay is going to be about. Please refer to page 114 to look at some methods on how to write good introductions.
1:04 PM
WHAT IS THE ADVANTAGES OF BEING THE ELDEST CHILD IN THE FAMILY?
INTRO:
What does being the eldest mean? Being the eldest means you are the first born in the family who plays the role as a role model to the younger siblings. There are many advantages of being the eldest child in a family but is it as simple as it seems? It might look easy to be the eldest in the family but it in real life, it involves being responsible and patient. Being the eldest child in the family, we will have the power to control our siblings in our own way. Therefore, being the eldest child in the family is not a lost in our life as there are benefits if we have the positions like, we are able to learn to be a leader and lead our siblings to the right way, besides, we also get all the new things compare to other siblings, lastly, we are able to experience anything new before our siblings could feel it.
Conclusion:
Based on the passage above, there are not only do exist the advantages of being eldest child. There are also disadvantages of being an eldest child. Likewise, the responsibilities that taken by the eldest child are heavier compare to the other siblings.
pm 11 gurl
12:20 PM
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